Fear is one hell of a drug; one hell of a vice. It’s the one thing we hate that is apart of us but we feed and nourish it on a daily basis. Often times we really can’t even articulate what it is that we fear, we just know that feeling if we are triggered.
When dealing with passion and purpose, it has been said that many people remain stagnate out of
fear of failure; fear of not being received; not being accepted.
I beg to differ. I believe our
fear enters another realm.
We aren’t afraid of failing. We are afraid of succeeding. We are afraid of actually doing a good job and having to sustain. We are afraid of having to exceed our previous success. Because of that
fear (irrational as that sounds), we allow a steady stream of excuses to subdue us to stiffness. “I’ll do it tomorrow” turns into “well, ya know, I just got so much going on” or “it was a stupid idea anyway” or “I don’t have the money” or “I don’t have the time” or “insert your excuse here.”
Let me know where you spot the lie and I’ll stop.
You inadvertently turn into a self-sabotager. The reason I know this is because I can identify. Rather than with my passion projects and purpose, I would unintentionally/intentionally sabotage certain relationships. Relationships that were going a little too right or felt a little too good. Almost to the point where I would tell myself “things aren’t supposed to be going this well so I’m going to end it” or I’d convince myself that I wasn’t deserving of a happy/healthy relationship. I’d psych myself out of things that were actually good for me. I’d starve my faith and allowed my
fear to have a field day.
Because happy and healthy was foreign territory to me, I never knew how to respond to it. I’d look away when eyes caught mine and could never receive compliments well.
I wasn’t afraid of bombing the relationship. I was afraid of it actually going right and how that would feel and how that would change me along the way.
It didn’t to me either when I was going through but overtime, it did.
I face the concept of
fear on a daily basis with all of my identities. A mother, an entrepreneur, a partner, an aspiring filmmaker, etc.
Pessimism is society’s theme so of course that’s what felt normal. The idea of success used to feel so out of reach but now that I see it as a possibility, it scares the hell out of me.
My natural reaction is to walk away so the battle is internal, is mental.
“Stay. Keep going. Try this today. Feel this feeling. Sit in this success. Claim it.”
Who are we to acknowledge our gifts and do absolutely nothing with them?
If success is our biggest problem, it is one good problem to have.